Setting Boundaries for Your Fitness

Lately I’ve been talking to my clients about the need to set boundaries for staying on track in their fitness.

One of the most common mistakes people make at the beginning of their fitness journeys is not showing up for the inner work. They think that they’ll have a better relationship with themselves after they get fit (which is why they started their fitness journey in the first place). But the truth is that you have to learn to value and love yourself first if you really want to make progress in the long run.

This starts by committing to your vision of what you want and then setting boundaries to protect it.

If you’re struggling to stay on track in your fitness and make progress, it’s probably because you haven’t said “no” enough.

You have to decide what kind of life you want to live, then say “no” to anything that isn't that.

Setting boundaries is key to building the life you want. 

This involves looking realistically at our lives and seeing where we are saying “yes” when we really should be saying “no.”

A helpful way to start setting boundaries is to imagine the person you’re trying to become. Then practice getting into that person’s mindset. Ask yourself, “is this a choice that this person would make?”

If the answer is “no,” then you’ll need to set a boundary!

A good boundary is what author and mediator William Ury calls a “positive no.” The “positive no” begins with a “yes” to your interests, expresses your "no," and is followed up by another "yes" to an alternative that serves your needs.

For example, let's say it's the evening and you're close to meeting your calorie goal for the day. You've got an enormous craving for ice cream--but eating a serving of ice cream would put you over your calories. Lately, you've been overshooting your calories a lot of the time, and it's begun to impact your fat loss progress.

When facing the decision in this situation, first take a step back and remind yourself of your goals. Then imagine yourself as the person you're trying to become--someone who is able to see their plans to follow through to success. That is your first "yes": "Yes, I want to be that person."

Then comes your "no": deciding not to have ice cream--at least not tonight.

But don't leave it here! Follow up your "no" with another "yes": give yourself an alternative! For this, you'll need to ask yourself, "what is it that I actually want or need right now?" If you just want a treat, you could say "I'll treat myself to ice cream later, after a few days of staying within my calorie goal." If you're craving something sweet, you could say to yourself, "instead of ice cream, I'll have some Greek yogurt with fruit to satisfy my sweet tooth and nourish my body."

This last "yes" is important because it allows you to end the situation on a positive note rather than a negative one. This, in turn, will help you to avoid getting into the deprivation mindset that can sabotage your progress.

Learning how to say no in this way can not only help you stick to your fitness plan, but it can also carry over into improving other aspects of your lie (i.e., your relationships, your work life, and your mental health).

To learn more about setting boundaries, I suggest reading William Ury’s The Power of a Positive No.* It’s a pretty quick read and one of the most valuable books I've ever read. I myself will be reading through it again soon and will be sending you all more tips for setting boundaries for fitness and overall wellness. I'd love to hear your thoughts on it as well!

You can order the book on Amazon as either a physical or digital or as an audiobook.

Remember that your life is a reflection of your mindset and what you truly believe about yourself. Value yourself enough to set boundaries to pursue your goals!

You're worth it :)

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